The Best Week Ever

[SeattleNews]

Nolton Morrow: Last week certainly was an exciting week; yet there were many stories that fell through the cracks of media coverage. Worthy stories; newsworthy and worthy of their own articles on the events that happened and what it all means. SBC SeattleNews, owned by the evil SeattleCorp which is reputed to be a trafficker of baby seal fur, offers a cheap substitute instead: A synopsis of last week, the best week ever.

Heavy players in the news: Sons of Liberty, Ireland, Alliance Defense Network.

Byzantium, New Byzantium[/size]

The Polish Mafia Governing Authority, or Polish Mafia, invaded the regions Byzantium and New Byzantium early last week. This followed an earlier, failed, attempt at conquering Byzantium. Their objective was to sieze the Byzantine Senate, which was headquarted in the now deserted New Byzantium and also existed in the small but friendly sized Byzantium. The next day the Sons of Liberty, a new region liberation group with such members as Meritocratic Senators, Sardauker Confederacy Defense Trust leaders, and two former Commanders of the Atlantic Alliance/Atlantic Central Command, retook New Byzantium from the Polish Mafia and returned it to its one native inhabitant. The Polish Mafia still teases the Sons of Liberty for recapturing the one-nation region from them, but, says Brother Novus of the SoL, "On only our second day of existence we were able to pull in nearly a dozen nations and achieve our first victory. Most groups do not even begin operations until they have at least thirty nations through weeks of messages on regional civic hqs... As for Mustard Plug, a defeat is still a defeat. It's only the first round of probably a long series of engagements with these guys. I'd say Gunnlandia has an axe to grind, alright. Look out." On March 26 the Polish Mafia pulled out of Byzantium, and an SoL squad quickly moved to the region and endorsed The Goblin Horde, ally of some SoL members and the old native delegate.

United Kingdom[/size]

Tuesday morning, March 22, USSR led a large force of USSR, Irish, and Imperial German nations and conquered the region. SeattleNews broke this story to the world while the invasion as still going on; hours before the region had even updated. This invasion surprised the rest of the world. It was actually that SeattleNews broadcast that informed the RRA High Command of the situation. The majority of defenders were actively engaged on other missions at the time and did not respond to the situation in full number, but a sizeable unit was deployed to United Kingdom to endorse the native delegate. USSR forces still won with over twenty endorsements to their count. After the fact it was discovered that United Kingdom was really a TAG region all along.

USSR president RedCommunist revealed the purpose behind the invasion in an exclusive interview with SeattleNews:

"1. To bring the war to English regions.
2. To capture an English region in the name of Ireland. 3. To take the UK so [Southern Addiscombe] won't get it for his plan of gathering UN forces to invade [Northern Ireland].
4. To get the USSR name out again and to make us famous again."

USSR soldiers remained in United Kingdom for occupation for three more days. The poster above was made by USSR Senator Patoxia, who is a soldier in the Second Division and a participant of the occupation.

Ireland[/size]

Ireland was an inactive member of the Alliance Defense Network until last week. The ADN began a judicial investigation of Ireland following the Irish invasion of Northern Ireland and the USSR invasion of United Kingdom, which Ireland assisted, and Ireland stopped being an inactive part of the ADN. Ireland has been cited for "three (3) counts of conduct unbecoming of a member of the A.D.N. and two (2) counts of collaboration with a known enemy of the A.D.N." Ireland representatives then banged on ADN government doors, demanding to know "what the hell is going on". The law behind the charges comes from the ADN's Constitution, which was ratified just last month. But Ireland reps aruge they did not rafiy any constitution, in fact they were not even aware of one; that they were "grandfathered in" through their prior membership in the ADN. Following a very tense argument between Ireland reps and ADN Judicial authorities Ireland resigned from the Alliance Defense Network in a huff. The ADN has confirmed they will try Ireland in absentia.

The Alliance of Imperials[/size]

The original homeregion of the Alliance of Imperials, called The Alliance of Imperials (now located in The Alliance of Imperials), was occupied by the Sons of Liberty. Because the region's founder was dead -causing the population to relocate to Alliance of Imperials- the Sons of Liberty "neutralized" the region by seizing the delegate position and locking themselves out of regional controls. It was also used as a base of operations by the Sons of Liberty for the next night's mission, in The Old Stomping Ground and Gondor.

Italy "Invaded" by Alliance Defense Network. [/size]

March 23, four nations moved to Italy and endorsed Italian Non Facists. Apparently the founder of Italy, Deus ex Fiat, was tipped off to the situation by an uncredited inside source. March 24, Italian Non Facists became delegate but that nation and its endorsers were ejected. Deus then broke the news to the world that the ADN had invaded Italy to oppose him. The ADN Public Affairs Director, Brachycardian Caveman, made this statement:

For the record, I would like to state that to the best of my knowledge, neither Currsnigget nor Italian Non Fascist are ADN operatives. Praeztork is the puppet nation of an ADN member. I believe this is a case of a single ADN member acting with his friends, and it was certainly not planned or condoned by the higher-ups in the ADN.

It was discoved by SeattleNews that Praeztork was the puppet of ADN member Gothicville, founder of the region Central Intelligence Agency. Gothicville enlisted the help of a couple other nations to participate in what was further revealed to SeattleNews to be an exercise conducted solely by the Freedom Alliance. The ADN is conducting an investigation.

Gondor[/size]

Gondor! Gondor, between the Mountains and the Sea! West Wind blew there; the light upon the Silver Tree fell like bright rain in gardens of the Kings of old. O proud walls! White towers! O winged crown and throne of gold! O Gondor, Gondor! Shall Men behold the Silver Tree, Or West Wind blow again between the Mountains and the Sea?

Gondor was invaded more than once last week. In the latest instance, the Colonial Empire invaded Gondor after a slow infiltration method. March 28, a group of unnamed regional defenders, headed by Upstate New York, counter-invaded and took the region from Colonial Ambition.

A Pretty Good Region[/size]

Sunday/Monday night, DEN region led a multiregional invader force of twenty nations into A Pretty Good Region, which had twenty nations and one endorsement for its delegate. Unfortunately, it just was not enough and a TITO-RRA force arrived on the scene. Later in the evening other ADN forces arrived. By the end of the evening defenders had won roughly thirty endorsements to twenty. TITO leader Titanica left aPGR this evening, ordering remaining soldiers and asked natives to endorse Ne touche pas le singe. Although some claim the ADN is installing a puppet government in A Pretty Good Region, a short interview with an RRA soldier, Germ Warfare, rebutted, "It's standard procedure to make sure a native becomes delegate after an invasion/counter-invasion. It's kind of like, we've quadrupled your region's population and had a big ole fight over it, but now that the defenders have won we're going to try and put things back to where they were before we started to smash nuts up here.... Hey, I'm going to be on the news, right? Cool. " He later added, "Also, if I could choose a song to describe last night's situation, I would choose "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Because that song is awesome!"

Tactical Alliance Group[/size]

You found out about the end of TAG from SeattleNew's Lari Sup. Allegedly, Ceaser, founder of Ceaser Caslte and former head of TAG, not only defected to the ADN but sold out his friends in TAG as well. Ceaser's "defection report" was leak to the world, first through SeattleNews. Read a copy of it here.

I'm Nolton Morrow and that's more than just a name, it's an attitude. SBC SeattleNews.